


Survive

by hmeihmeh



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 00:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7076653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hmeihmeh/pseuds/hmeihmeh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will Solace knew what they said behind his back. He knew they had reasons why, because he saw them every time he looked in the mirror. He was the son of Apollo who couldn't fight, who couldn't use a bow, sing, play an instrument, write poetry (not that it really seemed like an Apollo thing). The only thing he could do was heal but that didn't seem to be enough. He could hear everything they said about him...So when does so much become to much? </p><p> </p><p>Solangelo hurt/comfort, angst</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Rick Riordan. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The lyrics used are created and owned by Rise Against song writers Brandon Barnes, Joseph Principe, Timothy Mcilrath, Todd Moheny. Lyrics to Like The Angel provided by LyricFind. Published by Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

A/N: I didn't particularly like this fanfiction and will be updating, editing, and adding the alternative ending  
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy  
-hmeihmeh 

 

***  
Somewhere between happy, and total wreck  
Feet sometimes on solid ground, sometimes at the edge  
To spend your waking moments, simply killing time  
Is to give up on your hopes and dreams, to give up on your life  
***  
Will knew he wasn't good for much. He knew that he was one of the weakest children of Apollo. He barely understood why he had been given the duty of head counselor. He knew that they talked about him, it was a fact of life that was undeniable. But sometimes it was too much, the whispering and muttering he heard every time he stepped outside of the infirmary.  
"Did he even try?  
He isn't good for anything. Says he can heal, does he? Couldn't save that kid in there."  
And every time he participated in camp activities.  
"He should just go back to the infirmary.  
What is he even doing here?  
And he calls himself the son of Apollo.  
If I were his dad I would be so ashamed."  
***  
Life for you, (who we are) has been less than kind  
So take a number, (who we are) stand in line  
We've all been sorry, (who we are) we've all been hurt  
But how we survive, (who we are) is what makes us who we are

***  
Will wanted to tell them that he heard the. That he could hear everything they were saying about him, all the snide comments behind his back. He wanted to lash back, ask them when you get injured, big or small, who is the first person you go to? He yell and scream. But he found he had no strength to fight. So he kept up his sunny persona, smiled at the people who mocked him. Healed them when they inevitably came crying to him with an injury. He smiled and carried on, because what else can you do?

***  
An obvious disinterest, a barely managed smile  
A deep nod in agreement, a status quo exile  
I shirk my obligations, I miss all your deadlines  
I excel at quitting early, and messing up my life

***

Will shouldn't be here. This was the Hades cabin, but he knew nobody was home. Nico would kill him. He knew that. He also knew what he was going to do. So he tipped his head back regardless and the burning liquor pouring down his parched throat and burning like fire through his veins.  
Kayla had died, bringing in two children. A hell-hound attack. She had immediately been rushed to the infirmary. Will had worked and worked, barely resting for two days straight, before Kayla blinked her eyes closed and didn't open them again. When it was all over the whispers started again, people muttering to each other. The all too familiar phrases. Cold and cruel. Memories flashed before his eyes. Those who died in his hands because he couldn't do anything, because he was too weak. Pathetic. He stood suddenly, the room blurry and swaying. He caught sight of his reflection in a mirror and a surge of anger pushed him impulsively forward and he slammed his fist into the glass. It shattered, glimmering shards falling to the ground. The pain felt good. The distraction from the real agony. Suddenly the pieces of broken glass seemed much more appealing.

***

Life for you, (who we are) has been less than kind  
So take a number, (who we are) stand in line  
We've all been sorry, (who we are) we've all been hurt  
But how we survive, (who we are) is what makes us who we are

***

As soon as Nico do Angelo heard about Kayla he had tried desperately to get home. He was halfway across the world on a job, but he knew instinctively he needed to get back to Will. He knew how Will tore himself up after every death, as if he could have prevented each one. But Nico also heard the whispers. They followed Will around, he knew it. Most campers knew they shouldn't tear down Will, at least not with Nico around. But Nico never could seem to stop the whispers inside of Will's head. In his panic to get home he didn't even notice Will's life force blinking out rapidly. 

Nico had never been more fearful of death than when he found Will in a pool of blood, sky blue eyes shut and splayed across the floor of his cabin. He scooped Will up, inspected the cuts and washed them. He bandaged Will quickly and forced ambrosia in his mouth. The superficial cuts were already fading away. He lay Will in Hazel's bed and hesitantly sat next to him, thinking about how close Will had been to death.

***

Life isn't like this Life isn't like this  
Life isn't like this  
Life isn't like this  
Life isn't like this  
Life isn't like this Life can't be like this  
Life isn't like this Life can't be like this

Are we verging on an answer,

Or messing up our...

Life for you, (who we are) has been less than kind

So take a number, (who we are) stand in line  
We've all been sorry, (who we are) we've all been hurt  
But how we survive, (who we are) is what makes us who we are

***

Will woke with Nico di Angelo lost in thought next to him. He took the time to orient himself and study Nico who was staring out the window.  
"Take a picture, it lasts longer."  
Nico's sudden voice startled him out of his reverie. It sounded sore and tired, but relieved.  
"I'm sorry." Will offered. "For dragging you here to take care of me. For not being able to do anything for Kayla. For being a burden, Gods of Olympus I'm so-"  
Nico cut him off dark eyes blazing. He turned to Will agonized anger set in every delicate feature, hardening his passive expression. Will braced himself for the blame, for Nico to yell at him the things camp said behind his back. He shouldn't have been surprised when Nico nearly shouted at him,  
"It wasn't your fault, Solace. You of all people should know this! You can't control death, nobody can, not me, not you, not be even your father or mine. The other campers don't know a thing. Stop blaming yourself, you did all you could, sometimes that has to be enough." Will interjected,  
"I'm a son of Apollo, I can't do anything Nico! The only thing some people respect me for is my healing but I couldn't even save my own mom."  
They were both standing now, Nico slammed the door open, pulling Will out. Shadows wreathed around them and campers scattered.  
"Tell me, Will Solace, who was a field medic in the Battle of the Labyrinth?" He didn't wait for a response. "Not many people have that kind of bravery. So tell me who saved Annabeth's life? Who works shift after shift in the infirmary? Who leads the Apollo cabin. Who else can this camp go to with help. If you died camp would fall to shambles." The feral gleam in his eyes finished the sentence, he would make sure it did. We need leaders, we need medicine, healing, and comfort. We need as many people as possible after the war. I need you Solace, just because you don't fight front lines doesn't mean that you don't have worth. This camp wouldn't survive with just fighting power." Nico paused, "we couldn't survive without our blacksmiths, we need the tools. We couldn't survive without our front line fighters, we need to fight to live. But they would fail without the strategy. We couldn't have a camp without people to lift out spirits, to create a community. And trust ms this, Solace, we can't live without a head medic." He turned to the forming crowd, "keep that in mind." He left the threat hanging in the air. He lowered his voice, "promise me, Will, please, promise me." There was something pleading in Nico's eyes, fragile and tired. Will nodded and Nico relaxed. A smile graced Nico's features and then he pulled Will away from his cabin and towards the Apollo cabin.  
"Go on," Nico murmured, "trust me, they need you right now. And you need them. Just like me."

***

 

But how we survive, (who we are) is what makes us who we are

(Who we are)

It's what makes us who we are  
(Who we are)  
Makes us who we are  
(Who we are)  
It's what makes us who we are  
(Who we are)

Thank you for reading my second fanfiction post.  
Sorry if it was terrible, and for the spelling errors or the grammar errors, but hey,  
"A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit"  
-Bach


	2. How We Survive Is What Makes Us Who We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico di Angelo made a promise. But sometimes words just aren't enough.
> 
> "The agony of not telling anybody, the scorching burn of alcohol, the pain and the pleasure that was so entirely human"
> 
> " He felt it a month ago, Will's life force dimming. Slowly.... so agonizing. There was no way he could stop it, it was too painful. And he knew it was his fault. He wasn't good enough Will Solace. Will couldn't heal him and he couldn't heal Will. They were both shattered from the inside out and there was absolutely nothing that Nico could do but step away. They just broke each other more. And maybe if he hadn't been lost he would have felt Will slipping, slipping away."
> 
> "And the silver skull ring slipped to the ground, and fell with an echoing crash"

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Rick Riordan. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

This is a companion to my one-shot Survive and has been posted separately (what you are reading) and also as a second chapter to the original. This work can be read separately.  
-hmeihmeh

WILL  
Those days had long been ingrained in his mind. The days when Nico would fight for him, would plunge into Tartarus for him. Now it seemed like those days were over. Nico was getting distant, connecting with people outside of his friend group. Will knew he should be proud, happy that Nico was happy. But there was no Nico to be happy for. Will knew he was reading into Nico’s absence far too much, but it was difficult not to. Not right now, on the anniversary of his mom's death. He was still stuck in the past. But he would have thought Nico would remember. Remember that he was struggling. Didn't he say he would always be there? Now nobody was and Will was left alone with another bottle of wine and an empty promise.

Blood flowed freely and Will wondered why it was so gorgeous. So human. And gods he was so messed up, but aren't we all a little messed up. And the darkness rimming the edges of his vision swelled up and the whole world went black.

NICO  
Nico tipped his head back and let the vodka blur his mind and erase his memories, his fears, his dreams. Spun around, the flashing lights, the pounding music... being lost in the crowd, in the dark. Lost in his troubles and worries and washing them away. He felt it a month ago, Will's life force dimming. Slowly.... so agonizing. There was no way he could stop it, it was too painful. And he knew it was his fault. He wasn't good enough Will Solace. Will couldn't heal him and he couldn't heal Will. They were both shattered from the inside out and there was absolutely nothing that Nico could do but step away. They just broke each other more. And maybe if he hadn't been lost he would have felt Will slipping, slipping away.

 

Nico found Will where he found him a year ago. Leaned against the frame of the bed. Blood pooling around his familiar form. But this time there was no going back. Will's face was twisted in agony and tears still fresh on his cheeks. His light was gone now. Nico collapsed next to his lifeless form, pressed a drachma into Will's hand and his skull ring. Shaking slightly he closed his eyes and lay with Will one last time and promised Will they would meet again. When they were both a little less broken inside. They were both messed up, but everybody's a little messed up.

Will stood before the three judges, listening to them repeat his life out. Dissect it and examine it to see if it was worthy enough. Every mistake and failure and accomplishment turned over and contemplated. Finally Minos turned to him and looking him dead in the eyes.  
"Asphodel." Was all that he said. Will was silent. His thoughts churned, burning and regret pooled. This was it. He would loose his memories, he would wonder the fields as a meaningless ghost of the past. He wondered if he could take it all back. All the agonizing apprehension and uncertainty. He had told himself that this was the end, but the hope was still there. And hope was dangerous. He clutched the skull ring around his finger, the only thing left he had of Nico di Angelo. The coin was long gone, given to Charon to get across the river Styx. But this is where it all ended. Will walked slowly to the gates of Asphodel, this was his fate all along. He pushed them open and stepped in. His mind spun with memories the agonizing ones came first. The people who died in his hands, the ones he couldn't help. He saw Nico turning away, his mother, lifeless. Kayla closing her eyes. His brothers Lee and Michael. Losing people he didn't know, names he could never ever learn because he had failed them. The agony of not telling anybody, the scorching burn of alcohol, the pain and the pleasure that was so entirely human.  
Then they were gone-blond away on the wind. Then the last gift to him, all the memories and feelings that made him human; the things that made him broken, irreversibly shattered, were gone. And he realized this was what it was like to be happy, to be truly happy, but not human anymore. This was the last gift he would receive, perfection. And he was no longer Will Solace, because half of what made him was gone. And then the memories swirled again, his mother throwing her head back and laughing. His siblings gathered around, singing and laughing. His friends, family and home. And in the midst of it all he saw Nico di Angelo. And then they were gone, and the only thing left was the fading image of Nico's smile.  
But we're all a little messed up, right?

And the silver skull ring slipped to the ground, and fell with an echoing crash

 

Thank you for reading my fourth fanfiction post.  
Sorry if it was terrible, and for the spelling errors or the grammar errors, but hey,  
"A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit"  
-Bach

Feedback in any form is appreciated.


End file.
